Bogged Down?

(Sept, End of Summer)

After many years of wanting to learn how to harvest wild rice, I finally got my chance. Jeff and I made our way to a lake north of LCO and set out into the rice beds. I was amazed to look at the lake covered in tall grass. More rice than open water. I had made my own pole the night before and used it to push our canoe back and forth through the rice while Jeff knocked rice into the canoe. It was my first start as a rookie. The first hour or two, I was a little slow trying to figure out what was good rice and where to steer. In the middle of the Lake was a beautiful thick length of rice. I pushed toward it only to find it was a bog and now I understand what it means to be bogged down. A friend yelled over to us that we were in a bog and told us how to get around it. Our canoe floated just deep enough to be hung up in the reeds and muck. When I used my pole to push and steer, the pole sank 6 - 8 feet into the muck. Pushing got me nowhere and pulling the pole out of the muck just sucked us further into the bog. Rookie. Jeff was very patient. Even while struggling through, we were able to gather rice. The lake had been opened up the day before by the rice chief so we were really trying to find what was left. The rice had been hit hard because it was the very beginning of the season. Everybody is going to the same lakes. Other people were in the rice beds, friends and acquaintances from around the res. What a peaceful afternoon moving through tall grass watching other canoes slowly gliding through the beds.

We made our way slowly around the bog and passed through some well harvested beds. I was thinking of how much work this was to make rice, on top of all the work, I was having to learn to stand in the canoe and balance while pushing us along with a 14 foot pole. My thoughts went to Peter. He and his partners had been fishing one night, all night long. Casting out the net. Drawing in the net. Moving around the lake. They had not caught a fish. In the morning, Jesus borrowed Peter's boat to speak to the crowd gathering on the shore. After addressing them he said to Peter go out to the deep and put out your nets. Peter says come on we've been doing this all night, we are tired, we are through for the day, we have come up empty, but OK because you said, I will. The nets began to fill, the boats began to sink. They had fish.

I envisioned a sinking canoe of rice. We got ourselves around the bog and began to work back and forth across the lake. Slowly the rice fell and began to cover the bottom of the canoe. As the sun rose higher in the sky and became hot the rice fell even faster. We found some untouched areas. We followed the birds who eat the rice and started to fill the canoe.

We did not get as much rice in the end as we had hoped, but I was amazed at how God provides so simply and so profoundly. I takes effort, but harvest is inevitable.

What are we so afraid of?

(december)

hi
This is our end of the year update. Not necessarily too christmasy but I hope worthwhile as a read and maybe a good challenge for us all, me included. Most of all, I am always grateful for many friends who have helped out our family, Discovery, the Church of Love and Compassion and given at great sacrifice of time, finances, resources, sweat and of course friendship. It is at times difficult to express to so many our gratefulness adequately. It is even more difficult to get away and visit. I wish we had more time to do so. Please know you are loved and appreciated more than you can know. I always pray that the Lord will return your kindness and friendship many fold....



Fear
Sometime a coupe weeks ago, I was watching something or another (probably news) and I heard some one say, "remember, do not talk to strangers." It struck me. I am often reminded of the outreaches we used to do in Jamaica. Where ever I went there was greeting. Anytime I walked up and down Cox St. in Port Maria I heard greeting: "Good Morning", "Good Day", "Good Evening", "Good Night", "Yes Dave", "Alright", "Respect", "Whitey", and I greeted back. It is familiar and custom to engage and greet people. There were always smiles and eye contact and always time to stop and talk.

One night, on a trip where two of us had gone ahead of our team to prepare ministry ( really just hang out and enjoy Jamaica) I was playing checkers with a 6 year old friend, Minty (and getting beat every time). About 10:30 at night, I was walking up Cox St. and a man approached me from the bushes. I saw a flicker of light in his hand when I realized he had a butcher knife in one hand and the collar of my shirt in the other. He raised the knife to my face and asked me if I had any money. I said no without a blink and just stared at his eyes, the knife to my face and we were frozen in time. All I could do was wonder why I said no. I had 100 J (Jamaican Dollars) which equaled 3 US dollars at the time. My first rationalization was that it was God's money not mine. My realization was that I was stupid enough to die for $3.

Without a further word he pushed me backwards and went on. That's when I began to shake. Fear rose like a monster in my heart and took over my body and immediately there were dogs, about 5 small narly little 3rd World mutts growling and barking and charging at my feet. They smelled the fear. My body was quaking. I kicked at the dogs, picked up small pebbles and started throwing. The dogs left me alone and I walked back to our house. That night I laid awake, rehearsing the events in my mind, listening to the chickens and dogs, the music and voices of the night; gripped by anxiety. It reminded me of another time in High School back in Oshkosh. Two friends and I were coming back from Shakey's Pizza one Friday night on a quiet city block when a car pulled up, a few guys got out and one came over and punched out three of us. Cold cocked. (We later dubbed him "Buddy Ed" because we went through Yearbooks trying to find out who he was and thought we recognized him.) Buddy Ed broke my friend Mark's nose and chipped a tooth, He put down my friend Doug twice, and I managed to go down a little fast when he hit me and I stayed down. Then he left laughing with his friends and squealing tires.

I could not walk to school for a year without looking back at every car that came from behind. I was afraid. I looked over my shoulder for a few days in Jamaica too.

We would return to the States after a 4 - 6 week stay in Jamaica and often we stayed with friends from Wellspring church in Lyons Il. We would walk around the neighborhoods. Every garage door closed, curtains pulled. Every house lonely and quiet. We would go to Chicago, or to a mall and when I encountered people I would greet them out of the habit I had formed. People were stunned. They seldom acknowledged the greeting. They looked away. My eye contact made people uneasy. I often wonder what is wrong with us (Americans)?

"Do not talk to strangers." Those words pierced me for some reason. That's it. An American mantra. Fear. We teach it to our kids. Story after story of tabloid riddled news programs reinforce the fears. Missing children, bizarre and gruesome stories, school shootings, mall shootings and now something that hits close to home a shooting at a YWAM campus. Two young people killed, senseless and brutal.

What is the opposite of Love?
I have already been thinking about these things for maybe 2 weeks. Has the "do not talk to strangers" affected us as believers? Do we approach people with a mistrust and suspicion without an awareness of it. What place does fear play in our lives? Not too long ago someone rhetorically asked what is the opposite of Love. My first instinct was hate, but no, the opposite of love is fear. Five years ago now Billy and his brother Larry came to us after walking and hitchhiking from Seattle. We took them in. God was evidently at work in their lives. A week after taking them in I was sharing about missions at a church and telling the story about Billy and Larry and how miraculous their journey and our encounter had been. Someone took me aside and warned me I should not have done that because "you don't know who they are." Even locally there was suspicion "what do they really want?" ...........To know God!

Frustrating attitudes. Why are we so filled with anxiety disorders, syndromes and medications? What have we become so afraid of?

We live in a dangerous world. Risk is an everyday reality. We legislate, regulate, wear helmets and harnesses, we check backgrounds, build fences and go to war. We cry for peace and safety and then sudden destruction comes. We die in car wrecks wearing our seatbelts, we die without them. We see tragic, senseless and evil things everyday. Paul tells us to not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good. Of course that is Romans 12 and set in the context of what love looks like.

Our security does not come from a good portfolio, retirement, career, gated communities or education. Alarms, metal detectors, fences, defense shields, laws, curfews do not stop evil men. The safest place is in God's perfect will for our lives. That does not mean we will not die in a terror attack or be killed by a Sikh Hindu in India or a troubled individual standing in our doorway. It simply means that in God's presence we can have confidence. Many have been called to lay down their lives for the sake of the Gospel. Faith trusts in the trueness of God's love for us. Hope trusts in the reality of our own resurrection. His love is the only eternal security we have. Faith is confidence that God will be God. It is human nature to doubt. Many great men and women of God have doubted Him in crises of faith, as have I. Yet He has never failed anyone of us, even in death.

Love is motivating, fear is debilitating. Love frees us, fear paralyzes us. Love opens us, fear closes us. Love compels, fear reacts. God's love is a refuge; in fear, we hide. There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear. That does not mean I will not have fear if I am held at knifepoint, moreover be it one of my loved ones. But it can change how I look and interact with people and the world around me. Love can give me a different perspective than the headlines, soundbites, and "news" stories we are constantly bombarded by.

Everyday we are given reasons to be afraid of Muslims, Illegals, rapists, murderers, extortioners, identity thieves, drunk drivers, gangsters, capitalists, socialists, a golden compass, atheists, New Agers, nonenglish speakers, Republicans, Democrats, homosexuals, .............. Maybe there is a more missional way to live. Maybe God has a purpose that is not America centered, not me centered, but Kingdom of God centered, Good News of Jesus centered. Not fear centered but, Love of God centered... a higher call.

It comes to this

I read a quote recently to the affect: talent builds a church but it is sustained by character. The pastor of a church that I attended 20 years ago always said it is easy to find talented people but not easy to find faithful people. Another ministry I was a part of several years ago watched many “shooting stars” come and go, volunteers who ferociously entered the fray and just as quickly burned out.

As I write this I will be starting my 19th year in “full-time ministry”, my 17th year in YWAM, my 16th year on the res, my 10th year married to Pam, my 8th year living full-time at Discovery and my 9th month as Pastor of the LCO Church of Love and Compassion. As I look back sometimes I say, “Why me?” Close friends and co-workers (who were young and full of the Spirit of God) have gone home to be with the Lord. Friends and co-workers have left the pulpit and mission fields because of divorce, family problems, pressure, relationship distress, loneliness, desire for marriage, career, confusion and unresolved personal issues. I think, “How am I still standing when so many better men have fallen and others so vital have been called home to the dismay of flocks and followers?” How have I survived my own foolishness, rebelliousness, self-centeredness and outright stupidity?

As I am preparing for my licensing interview with the divisional leaders of the Foursquare Church, an interview question reads, “How do you know God has called you into the minstry?” Oye!

The one overwhelming marks throughout my life is God’s faithfulness. I have managed to do a few things right now and again, but they are vastly outweighed by the things that have come out of left field, gone south, went to Hell in a hand-basket, failed and blew up in my face. I have hurt people, let people down, taken out my frustrations on my family, failed to show up, forgotten to be places, let things slip away...... Is this God’s best for me? Is this my best for God?

I love mercy. Mostly because I need it. Jesus said, “Blessed are the merciful for they shall receive mercy.” James says, “mercy triumphs over judgement” and reminds us that the “wrath of man does not produce the righteousness of God.”

Going through a separation and divorce twenty years ago, I tasted God’s mercy in miraculous and profound ways. It melted bitterness in my heart and I wept and wept. I deserved wrath, at least a good beating, but I received this overwhelming presence of mercy in a way that drew me to Jesus and to the Father. Perhaps most profoundly it pierced shame: my urge to hide and cover myself in the presence of God.

God’s mercy in my life has taught me patience. Someone asked me once, “do you think maybe we can have too much mercy?” My answer was do we presume to out-mercy God? This person was upset with a person I was patient with. One who grew up in a Christian family, Christian church, Christian School, Christian College, listened to Christian music, read Christian books was unhappy with a young believer who had grown up living 25 years in one hell-hole after another. This young believer has now encountered the Living God and is finding out how God can work and transform a life while still having maybe more than a few rough edges. Wow, an older brother unhappy with the younger who has finally come to their senses after eating slop with the pigs. I wonder how many times I have had to come to my senses wallowing in the mud for a morsel.

God’s faithfulness is sustaining. He sees through the present to a finished work. That does not mean He winks at sin. He may take us to the wood shed now and then. He may lead us to the wilderness where the flesh becomes weak and vulnerable but the soul begins to pant, and long, and remember. I tend to think God is not disgusted with us, though we are often disgusted with ourselves. Nor is He disgusted with my brother or sister when I am disgusted in the guise of “righteous indignation” which is really just hidden pride.

In YWAM I have heard a statistic claiming that about 80 percent of those who leave the mission field do so because they can not get a long with the other missionaries. That implies there may be some who have left because they could not get a long with me, no body has ever told me that (to my face.)

Seventeen years ago the Lord told me to put my hand to the plow and don’t look back. Entering that new field 17 years ago with my bright shiny plow was not easy. The plow has needed periodic repair. I have had to make adjustments to keep the rows in order. But through the breaking of ground, seeds find rest and a place to germinate. Breaking ground breaks a sweat. Different ones have come a gone from the field, some have joined at the plow, some have gone off to buy a tractor. We have had bursts of energy and vigor; we have spun our tires in the mud.

No one can be more suprised than myself that I am still here today. We tend to look for things with Samuel’s eyes, while God sees our hearts: good intentions with lousy execution, hidden agendas and selfish ambitions. BUT, He also knows how to find the king in the shepherd boy. He knows how to make a grand enterance in our moments of humilty.

Best and most amazing to me is that God knows how to clean up this whole mess called the human experience, the problem of evil, the last days. He knows how to show His glory in the midst of darkness. He knows how to save what is lost. He knows how to place a seed in hostile environments and cultivate a garden. He knows how to take our feeble attempts and transform them into His Kingdom of power.

God is faithful, True, through and through. He is merciful as He meets out His justice. And, it is by His grace that we are saved which is beyond ability and merit, but given simply because He wants to.

Unity: Force of Will or by Virtue of God's Spirit?

Over the last few years many of the believers in our area have been afflicted by the pressure to create unity. So, we read passages like 2 chronicles 7:14 and proceed to follow the prescription for God to “move”. We get together and do the things which “attract” the Holy Spirit. We (I will include myself in this though I want something very different) have an agenda of the things we want. We have been shown the Transformations videos ad nauseum (sorry George). Unity is like a carrot on a stick and we plod toward it.

So we get together. We sing some songs. We report on our ministries (most of whom can not and will not work together out of doctrinal and cultural issues). We are exhorted to witness to more people and asked how many people we have witnessed to today and are guilted into realizing we have not witnessed to enough or anyone for that matter today. Another voice may add, we are not following the right paradigm of leadership, we should be looking for leaders, strong leaders to disciple (indoctrinate?) and raise up so that they can find more leaders to disciple. If we are not raising up leaders then we are not discipling and God is not pleased or at the very least we are dead in the water, stagnant; missing the mark of what God is doing in this generation.

(I have lost track. Is this the Joshua, Daniel, Moses David, prophetic or apostolic generation? Has there ever been a Jesus generation? Just checking.)

I am tired of being told how to act out in order to inspire God to move. Pray harder, worship more passionately, then God will do His new thing. I will be in the River. It feels like just another form of paganism, any other religion of human device where we shout louder, sing longer, dance harder, cut ourselves, cry in desperation and reach the highest frenzies of praise... so that God will be happy and do our thing. Am I messed up? Am I cynical?

No!

I left the last unity meeting grieved, wanting to cry. How much was my own wounded ego and how much was the Spirit I can not discern. A portion of us are simply crying out for relationship. I want help walking with God, walking with Jesus. I want to know how others are doing it. How do we walk through victories and trials? How do we help one another through failure and despair. I do not need an expert or an opinion. I need a brother and a sister. I do not need a guilt trip or a dictator, I need a friend. I do not need another paradigm, I need a picture of the Kingdom of God, the reality of Jesus’ presence in our midst and in my life.

I am weary of unity on the basis of performance, watching well intentioned brothers and sisters perform circus acts for each other and our leaders. How often we as leaders reward the circus acts with a handful of peanuts instead of calling us back to simple humility and honest sharing. I have been one of the guilty ring leaders and seen many brothers and sisters crash and burn because they can not keep up the appearance and the pressure. This thing runs deep and has become a genetic flaw in our modern faith.

Unity is not something we can create, it is something we must preserve diligently; and it is by virtue of our relationship to the Father through Jesus and our relationship to each other. Moreover it is by natural consequence of the work of Christ. Our responsibility is a worthy walk, humility, gentleness, patience, suffering long with one another and love.

(eph 4) I urge you to live a life worthy of the calling you have received. Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love. Make every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace. There is one body and one Spirit—just as you were called to one hope when you were called— one Lord, one faith, one baptism; one God and Father of all, who is over all and through all and in all.

How different that seems to me than creating a frenzy. Do not misunderstand. I love a passionate and exuberant time of praise and celebration based on who our incredible, incomprehensible, awesome loving God has revealed Himself to be. But never confuse the response of authentic worship and repentance with appeasement and works.

Unity is the reality that there is one Body and one Spirit. We tend to see our selves as bodies of believers (rather than parts of the one body and members of one another) each having an expression of the Spirit ( or the scriptures) by which we see ourselves as distinct rather than whole. Herein lies the need for humility. We are members of one another. We share one Jesus, one Lord, one Faith, one Baptism, One God and Father, the One Creator of All.

I began to write this to go along with the discussion about the 2 class system but i was over come by a rant......

I am a pastor, a shepherd. The very first thing that God spoke to me when I took on this role was about the Body of Christ. I wrote as song and sang it at our first gathering, a vision for what I desire as a part of the Body.

As a part of the body, I began to see that a pastor was simply one of the body parts. A role not a position. Shepherds walk with sheep. Jesus walked with His disciples and they experienced life together. In doing so Jesus was able to interact at all points of life when ever anything came up. The disciples experienced a new world view (the Kingdom of God) as their own realities were constantly shaken and challenged. Jesus modeled everything He taught.

A pastor as one of the five fold offices shares in the responsibility to equip ALL the saints for the work of ministry (not to just raise up leaders). We all share the great commission in common. The work of ministry is really the work of service. Many people want to be in the ministry but have no idea that to minister is to serve. A minister is a servant-- nothing fancy or powerful about servants.

The offices are:
....for the equipping of the saints for the work of service, to the building up of the body of Christ;
until we all attain to the unity of the faith, and of the knowledge of the Son of God, to a mature man, to the measure of the stature which belongs to the fullness of Christ.
As a result, we are no longer to be children, tossed here and there by waves and carried about by every wind of doctrine, by the trickery of men, by craftiness in deceitful scheming;
but speaking the truth in love, we are to grow up in all aspects into Him who is the head, even Christ, from whom the whole body, being fitted and held together by what every joint supplies, according to the proper working of each individual part, causes the growth of the body for the building up of itself in love. (eph 4)

New to all this

This is my new blog. I may write, I may not. I like to comment. This is home. You can check out Dummies Against Intelligence on MySpace.com under music. I will post a couple of recent writings. Feel Free to comment.